Hot enough for ice cream

I won't speak at length about kids, because my own offspring are bobos ("But Mommy, McDonald's makes me fa-at!").  They do not relish the pleasures of my own youth such as truckstop Twinkies, 7-Eleven Big Gulps, Target clothing racks, and free cookies at Safeway.  However, if you have never been past Zone 1 in east London you will mistakenly infer that there are no children at all, suspecting the area is too dangerous, too expensive, or that men in this city have undergone decades of infertility.  So I will chime in occasionally to prove that children do actually exist, still.

One thing all kids need is ice cream, and I can empathise with that.  One of my most vivid early memories is of standing in a fast food joint staring at an Ernest P Worrell poster as I licked my ice cream cone so hard the scoop fell right off.  Fortunately for my parents an employee noticed the tragedy before they did and replaced it, KnoWhutImean, Vern?

My own kids stick their snotty noses up at fast foods and ice cream vans, so I am always in search of a good place to get a scoop in London. I fantasize about a European-style ice cream shop which stays open during winter only because it sells hot drinks with too much whipped cream, where on a sunny day you have the option to either line up for cone of local ice cream, or sit down at the terrasse with a dainty glass holding enough ice cream to require a second spoon.  Sadly, I don't know anywhere in London that good -- although the Tower of London, Greenwich, and the dull area around Trafalgar Square would be obvious locations.  The worst place is SouthBank, because riverside fairs and a giant ferris wheel are strong stimuli for ice cream eating, but the few options are all horrible tourist traps. Despite promises of "99 flakes", it is not possible to buy an ice cream anywhere in London for under £2.  This is not a national policy, as proven by Brighton Beach, a lovely place for Londoners to escape to on a sunny day (so they all do, simultaneously), which neglects to have sand but is covered in permanent ice creams stands charging under £2 per scoop.

Canary Wharf and Westfield Stratford City offer the best ice cream options, but unfortunately they are entirely indoors.  One favourite is Zazà in Canary Wharf, best with the espresso poured on top (it won't melt, you are indoors anyway).  A sure hit is Pinkberry at WSC, which is set up to look beachside, and is mostly-healthy being fruit-topped frozen yogurt (my sugar-deprived kids will also go for the ultra-healthy Snog, if only they sent east London a branch with sufficient outdoor seating).  Prior to the emergence of WSC I was hurting for a way to reward my kids for painfully enduring back-to-school shopping at Clarks and Wilkinson (closest thing to the late Woolworths), and they would have to settle for Burger King soft serve.  Now when they are really good I can treat them to root beer floats and  bowling at All Star Lanes.